This too shall pass

This time last year, I was in a Very Bad Place. I was more stressed than I ever thought possible, juggling a busy job and erratic working hours with spending time with the kids, keeping on top of the house, facing a sprialling debt crisis, coping with three dogs and of course, visiting my dad in hospital. This was the most stressful thing of all, we knew he was getting worse and every day brought a new setback. Most days, he'd be barely conscious and looking ghastly, and on the rare occasion he was awake, he'd usually be so full of morphine, he'd be hallucinating and screaming at us to eff off. It was a truly horrible time in my life, and over the following months, it only got worse. We faced the worst nightmare and watched my dad die, honestly the worst experience of my entire life. We then went through the stress of selling the house, wondering why the house wouldn't sell and eventually having to empty the thing! I went into a bit of a self destruct, working myself into the ground to keep my mind off things. I will never understand why, but I chose this time to take on a new job, in a hospice, looking after dying people. I managed to stay for 8 months, but I really struggled to enjoy it, it was just way too soon. I also had no social life and almost no contact with friends at this time, so I ended up in a really dark place - lonely, isolated, desperate and very very sad. Anyway, why am I telling you all this? Because this week, I feel like I've finally come out of the dark place and life is actually good again! We've handed over the old house, so the months of clearing and moving are over! I've also started a new job, back at a wonderful place I worked in years ago, caring for adults with disabilities. The staff are brilliant, I love the job and feel genuinely happy there. The kids are happy and settled, enjoying the freedom of living here with lots of other kids nearby to play with. Mum is doing well, she's even booked a holiday to Germany by herself, which makes me so proud! So basically, life is good again. It was such a horrible time, and I honestly went through moments when I felt like I'd never be genuinely happy again, but it's so true that no matter how bad things get, it will always pass eventually. juts ride the storm and you will see the sun again. I lost my brother 14 years ago. He was also in a very bad place and saw no way out, and he took his own life. I think about him all the time, and it makes me so sad to think that whatever seemed insurmountable to him at the time would be ancient history by now. Life will always have ups and downs, and there will always be times when things seem hopeless, but there is always a way out, and the sun will always rise again.